🔮 Oracle of Absurdity — $4.99 (ONE-TIME (About R90.00))
Tap once. Receive cosmic nonsense. Share the absurdity.
Ever feel like the universe owes you an answer?
The Oracle of Absurdity delivers profound-sounding but utterly meaningless wisdom — perfect for existential giggles, confusing your cat, or renaming your Wi-Fi network to something deeply philosophical.
✨ WHY YOU NEED THIS
- 3 FREE WISDOMS — Try before you buy. No credit card required.
- UNLIMITED ABSURDITY — One payment. Forever access. No subscriptions. No hidden fees.
- 100% OFFLINE — Download once. Run forever. Your existential crises stay private.
- SHAREABLE WISDOM — One-tap share to WhatsApp, Twitter, Instagram Stories.
- PWA INSTALLABLE — Add to home screen. Feels like a native app.
- MADE IN SOUTH AFRICA — Born 970m from Meiringspoort. Tested by baboons.
🚀 HOW IT WORKS
- Click “Add to Cart” below
- Pay $4.99 via PayPal (PayFast coming soon)
- Download ZIP instantly
- Unzip → Open oracle.app/index.html in Chrome
- Tap “Speak to Me O Wise One”
- Receive wisdom like:
“The universe is expanding because it’s trying to get away from your life choices.”
⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES
- Works on Windows, Mac, Linux
- Chrome or Edge recommended
- Best experienced in dark mode (your eyes will thank you)
- May cause spontaneous laughter, snort-laughing in elevators, or sudden urges to question reality
- NOT responsible for: existential crises, baboons judging your life choices, or sentient policy documents
💎 ONE-TIME PAYMENT — $4.99 (About R90.00)
This is not a subscription. This is not a SaaS. This is a tiny piece of cosmic absurdity that you own forever.
Warning:
After using the Oracle, you may find regular AI assistants unbearably serious. Side effects include joy.